Eqab,Eid


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I'm Eid Eqab, a high school Guidance Counselor for Dasman International School in Kuwait. I received my B.A. in Sociology at the University of Carleton, Canada in 2006. Since then, I have been serving as a high school guidance counselor. As a school counselor, I work with everybody within the school environment including staff; students' and parents in regards to meet the developmental needs of our students help them for better career planning. I would say one the best things about being a high school counselor is the ability of working with all types of personalities, I am being energized by working with youth. I like to travel, meet new people and share ideas and thoughts about life and careers. I also coach basketball and I have two kids and they are accompanying me in all my trips**.** ** ASSIGNMENT #1 ** As a school Guidance Counselor, one of my major missions is to oversee the core values program the school initiated last year. Our program aims to establish a positive climate at school by focusing on conflict resolution, respect and citizenship, responsibility, and the other three pillars of character education I believe this course will outline for us the sources of the disputed relationship and the unhealthy school climate, and how peaceable school can results when values, attitudes and life skills developed effectively. for the last ten years, I perceived that the unhealthy school climate affect the functioning of the educational process, and prevent the provision of a secure environment for the occurrence of education and the learning process, it haunt teachers and hindered from doing their job well, the time spent by some teachers in dealing with discipline scholastic problems, may exceed the time spent in explaining the lessons. Five specific topics I would like to see included in this course are: Effective communication - Factors that enhance effective communication Main Strategies of violence Prevention in schools. Managing and resolving conflicts effectively Negotiation skills- Situations that require negotiation Pathways to Peaceable Classrooms ** ASSIGNMENT #2 ** American History X is not an easy movie to evaluate. The movie illustrates the undergoing divergent challenges between people with divergent needs, standards, principles, ethics, goals and conflict management methods. I watched the movie with my wife; she is a school social worker as well. We both have observed many of teens who are dealing with the situation of parent or guardian being in jail. Some of the effects can include shame and anger, and an unstable home life. The movie focuses on social conflict, social prejudice and the role of society, educators and parents to help teens survive and teach them the proper way of managing conflict. Methods such as social conflict, social prejudice or any other improper belief could be used to intensely impact our mindsets. When Derek’s father passed away, he became a more hateful person. Derek learned a lot of his hatred from his Family. However, we see that racism is not something that comes only to the person through personal motives, it happens also through the accumulative of inherited facts from generation to another! Another issue grabbed our attention, that the absence of the guardians is affecting the whole family, parents play an irreplaceable role in the lives of their children. Another lesson from the movie is how educators can help their students to evaluate their real-life goals to understand the elements that make up the best ones. Mr. Sweeny had a lot to do with Danny’s whole mind change. I feel that he is a very influential actor in this movie because it is good to know that there are people who are ready to tolerate the ignorance and give a hand. Mr. Sweeney is a serious man, directed, kind, and influential. He shows us that there are always different ways in which people deal with conflict. His task to Danny is to analyze his brother’s actions and the impacts they have had on him and their family that was in order to help Danny how people think and act. This is the context of the movie. Derek tries to help Sweeney stop ethnic crimes and restructure broken relationships for the all people's well-being. He may be conscious of the limits of human justice. In conclusion, the movie was a very good movie that I can use part of it in my counseling program Derek did his best to help Sweeney stop racial crimes and modifies the weak relationships for the all humankind’s welfare. .  ** ASSIGNMENT #3 ** Peaceable school or community is look like where everyone is treated with dignity and respect, and good level of perceptions of care, training and learning. We have to realise that communications is a two-way process that requires that all parties have an area of communicative harmony. Although zero tolerance rules has not been shown to improve school climate or safety, all actions that constitute a clear threat to the safety of the society.
 * Eid - I posted this work on your page for you. - hank**

The most important rules of society: 1 -- attending carefully to what a speaker is saying 2 - we shouldn’t take what another student/teacher says personally! 3 - Evaluate the situation logically before response and reflect before begin 4 - Do not point negative comments to student, people or groups. 5 - Support open and constructive communication. 6 – Plan next step.

Conflicts are natural, inevitable and part of our daily life. Likewise, conflict might be a chance for meaningful and lasting change. Students are expected to follow the instructions or accept to live with the penalties and enhance approaches to solve problems

Healthier teachers/student relationships make the school climate more positive and safe. As positive demonstrating for solving problems applied as much student accountability for solving problems improved.


 * Describe how if Hank (your professor) came to your classroom or community he would observe the elements of a peaceable community. What evidence would he see? How will you promote peace in your community? **

As a school counselor, I am committed to provide a safe learning environment for all students. I am responsible of the Anti-bullying program as one of the major programs offered in the school in order to promote a peace in the school. I would love to see Hank visit my school and observe the Anti-bullying program I conducted in order to reduce both “direct” and “indirect” bullying (e.g. verbal or physical assault or social exclusion). The program offered through presentations, short movie clips, handouts, bulletin boards, drawings and play. I established a managing team to perceive the implementation of the program which involved restructuring of the K-12 school environment in a way that would reduce bullying while at the same time sustaining a kind, caring school environment. The students showed real engagement during the anti-bullying poster competition that we held among students, this design competition was judged by teachers, parents and staff, and winners were given the chance to post their work in the school official website. Teachers also were asked to use one period to complete a special lesson to talk about anti-bullying.

Violent crime, though still numerous, has decreased over the years for a variety of reasons. Notably, there is more technology to hinder crime as well as to help solve crimes after the fact (ie. cameras, DNA testing, and so forth). However, I personally believe education has been the reason crime is on the decline. It is a common known fact that poverty and social circumstances play a prominent role in whether or not a person opts to engage in criminal activity. 800 years ago until today there has been a shift in the role of children and youth, where the norm was for a teenager to stay home and help out at home, it is now frowned upon for any youth to not be in school – at least until the end of high school. I believe this structure in one’s life and the knowledge that comes from it allows for better decisions to be made. In communities where gangs are prevalent, even schools find it hard to stop their students from engaging in crime but at the very least they offer an alternative. It is comforting to see the results of the quiz in that arrests for violent crimes are on the rise. It is the best way to prevent future crimes. Upon doing the quiz, it appears all four of my peers assumed the worst; that the United States is in a state of extreme violence. Personally, while I do think the United States has a serious issue with violence, I always preferred statistics and had a feeling the numbers would not reflect that statement. Sadly, the sensationalized media plays on our fears and it makes it very easy to believe the worst. Positivity does not sell headlines. I believe the purpose of this lesson overall is to understand the importance of education. Even when something sounds like common sense (ie. violence in the United States), the facts can shine a light beyond what we think we know. That is the true purpose of education, to look for answers and to question our society, because that leads to the growth of a better society. In regards to the video discussing waterboarding, I find this a disgusting form of torture – despite the man in the video attempting to justify the “natural fear of drowning”. The costs outweigh the benefits when it comes to information gained through these means. There has been more than enough evidence to prove that people will confess to things they have not committed under severe distress. It can go as far as mentally impairing the individual so that they believe their own lies. Where is justice when we would rather see anyone suffer while real criminals walk free? Fighting Back: As a parent and an educator, I can definitely see the issue with this method but I can also see the benefit. To begin, the issue is obviously that the children are being expected to be put in harm’s way in order to carry out the canned attack, or at least that is what the video appears to show. Realistically, I think the point was if they are ambushed and have nowhere to go, they need to feel confident that they can do something. It is a means of empowering the students to feel they secure within the walls of their school when school shootings are not an uncommon occurrence. Granted, similar to other crimes, when looking at the statistics, they are merely a drop in the ocean. That does not minimize the severity of the issue. I like the concept of empowering students, however, it would have to be controlled so that students don’t feel it is their main responsibility to go and attack a potentially armed and very dangerous intruder. The focus should be as the woman in the video said, evacuation, safety, and allowing the authorities to apprehend the suspect. Brain hijacking is an interesting phenomenon that some people refer to as blacking out while that may be an exaggerated term. It refers to the loss of emotional control one experiences when they are triggered to react without thinking. It is raw emotion, and most often negative emotions such as anger or sadness. I have witnessed this occur in colleagues and students alike, as well as friends. At the end of the day, everyone has their triggers and everyone will experience this at some point. One case was a friend of mine who had an extremely long day and night preparing lesson plans for her students. She was absolutely overworked and tired, and when a colleague saw her they made a comment that was meant to be a joke noting how lazy some people seem around the office. My friend, with all the emotions she was already feeling, broke character and yelled at this person. She felt her loyalty to her job was being questioned and after the effort she so obviously puts in, was insulted to the point her brain was hijacked. A typically quiet and introverted individual, with very kind words even in the worst of situations, turned into someone we did not recognize. Her love for her work triggered this reaction. After watching this video, I decided to share it with that very friend. I was able to tell very quickly she identified with the video as someone who internalizes a lot of her emotions. She told me she loved the concept of empowerment and the many ways it can occur. We both practiced some of the poses during the video clip and by the end of it, she was laughing to herself. She told me it was interesting being able to see the science behind our actions and that she would share this video with her 9th graders. I was very happy to hear that as I think everyone can benefit from this knowledge, especially her students who are at an age where they are really beginning to form who they want to be. Conflict arises when there is a difference in opinion that becomes hostile. People react to conflict very differently. Some people hate and avoid it, which means they would rather feel bad and not address the issue. These are the same people who often become passive aggressive. There are others who prefer to tackle it head on and discuss the issue. Depending on their personality this can be a good or bad thing. For example, if they are very aggressive (even if it is unintentional, ie the way they speak) it can escalate the conflict. There is a full spectrum of ways to react to conflict, but eventually a resolution is reached when all parties involved are willing to discuss, compromise, or even simply agree to disagree. Communication then, is the only way to attain conflict resolution As a guidance counsellor, I have witnessed many issues that involve people – students, parents, and colleagues alike – giving into their fight or flight response. The amygdala takes over and it is purely rage or fear that usually makes them act. One good example I can think of was a student who entered my office with his father. The tension was palpable as it so often is when parents and kids do not see eye to eye. The father was upset about his son’s attendance record and grades, he asked to meet with me to discuss his son’s behaviour and what could be done to ensure he graduated on time with his cohort. It was clear the two had argued prior to entering my office. As the father spoke, he used very passive aggressive terms about his son, and whenever his son attempted to speak up he would shut him down and say he needed to be more respectful to his elders. Between mediating and attempting to cover the full range of what was going on, it was hard to say exactly when the moment changed but it did. The son snapped on his father, and yelled at him saying he did not want to be an accountant. He began screaming and the father – in a culture where it is extremely taboo to speak up to parents in public – was shocked. The son reacted with a fight response, however, the father responded with flight. He was trying to push his son out the door insisting they were done speaking. Thankfully I was able to keep them in the office and mediate. However, it was a scary situation to witness. It is often the people closest that know how to trigger our response. I do not believe the involvement of the amygdala is always a hindrance. I say that because for many people I have witnessed, they cannot begin to discuss an issue until they have experienced the full range of emotions, they need to yell, and cry, and do all of that before they are able to discuss. It is learning to find the balance where you can yell and vent but without doing so at someone or in a harmful way to yourself or to others. Of course a calm and collected state of mind is the most conducive to finding solutions but it is important to remember that is not everyone’s natural state. It takes work to get there and to bring down our defensive side at times. I Messages (Behaviour, Action, Feeling) __ Negative __ Behaviour: Mary, when you shout in class Action: you are distracting everyone Feeling: and that upsets me.
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Mary’s response was a frown and more shouting, blaming the other students for distracting her first.

__ Positive __ Behaviour: Mary, I noticed you finished all your work, Action: I can tell how focused you’ve been. Feeling: It makes me proud.

Mary’s response in this case was a smile and she participated even more during the classroom discussions.

__ Positive __ Behaviour: Mohammed, I noticed you have been helping clean the school grounds this week, Action: I can see other students following your lead, Feeling: it makes me happy to see your work. Mohammed’s response was excitement as he smiled really big and thanked me for noticing. GIGI Situation __ Corrective: __ Gigi, my boyfriend told me you keep coming over when I am not there and going through our stuff, can you respect our space and call first? __ Positive: __ Gigi, I noticed you have been really comfortable at my home and while I love that we are close friends, I would appreciate a call before your visits and that way, I can properly host you. Upon reading the three articles, a few things stood out for me. Firstly, the article regarding bullying from an authority figure impressed me. It is so often overlooked that even as educators we do not stop and evaluate ourselves at times. That is one of the first things I would implement in my own school, a biweekly discussion about what is and what isn’t working in our classrooms. Maybe even have students evaluate their teachers the way they do in universities – anonymously but effectively. Secondly, the article regarding prevention resources was great. The sections focused on cultivating empathy and inclusion is what I already implement in my counselling sessions but they can always be improved upon. I am a firm believer that most conflicts find root in misunderstanding or fear. The more we make an effort to understand each other, the more likely we are to like each other. The inclusion aspect helps to remove the “we vs them” mentality and facilitates the process of empathy. Children are often limited by their home education and so as a society we need to expand their thinking especially at school, in case their home education is not the best. Finally, the point about restoration > retribution is key. If we are simply punishing without trying to understand students who perform acts of bullying, we are not helping them. It will become a vicious cycle where they will feel even more disconnected from their peers, and more likely to act out. Implementing behavioural consults and programs to work with their children is a more beneficial route in the long term. I was a little surprised with my results with this test, as it showed my two predominant features as Practical Manager and People Person. I somehow expected Creative Problem Solver to be my main trait so that was interesting to see. However, my colleague says it is very accurate. His results showed him as a People Person and Learned Expert. This personality test was very useful for us both to take an introspective look at the parts at play when we try to understand why we act in the ways we do. Comparing American History X and October Sky FAMILY ROLE (MOTHER AND FATHER) Derrick’s father was not in the film for a very long time as he was killed in the line of duty. However, what was extremely apparent throughout the scenes we do see the father and son together is that Derrick was desperate for his father’s approval. This meant he would be easily influenced if it meant pleasing him. It was easy for Derrick to romanticize the memories of his father and fall on the wrong path. It very well could have been that if his father were alive, despite everything, he would challenge his racist ways. Instead, I feel, that he tried to honour his father’s memory in the worst way – he was trying to gain the approval of a dead man for a very long time. Derrick’s mother did not have a strong enough character to challenge her son, and so despite her love for him she could not help him. This is essential in understanding why he could not develop his character beyond the limited scope of what he thought he knew. Homer, similar to Derrick, was also a son who wanted nothing more than his father’s approval but the difference is that he knew what he wanted beyond that. Homer’s father was a good man at heart, one can tell even by the way he beat up the friend’s drunk father to protect him. His father seemed to want the best for his son – but only in the ways he knew how. That played a role in why he was not supportive of Homer’s rocket dreams. Homer’s mother knew how it felt to dream and so it was easier for her to fight for her son – even if she did it in subtle ways most of the time. It was not until she really needed to did she assert herself fully choosing her son over her husband if need be. Her belief in her son is important because he could sense it even when she was not saying it and this obviously helped secure his determination. TEACHER’S ROLE Derrick and Murray: Murray’s role is an instigator, as he triggers Derrick’s anger. His presence only encourages the worst in Derrick and this is most apparent at the dinner scene when Derrick finally blows up and demonstrates his racism for all to see. Homer and Ms. Reilly: this relationship is very different and focuses on the positive impact of a proper support system. Ms. Reilly didn’t just say she supported the Rocket Boys, she encouraged them, defended them in front of the principal, and even taught them new math material when they hit a dead end. She was instrumental in Homer’s success and his determination throughout the film. She is the ideal role model. PRINCIPAL’S ROLE Derrick’s principal Sweeney appeared to recognize what was missing from Derrick’s life: a role model, and thus tried to be that. Sweeney did not give up on him at any point, and even while he was in prison made every effort to educate him, be there for him, and always hoped for the potential Derrick had inside him to change. His role was prominent in the film and it was heartwarming as it showed just how much a stranger can become closer than family and an integral part of one’s mental and emotional development. Homer’s principal played a similar role to his father, constantly giving into societal pressure and condemning Homer’s actions. It was only at the end when the boys were actually successful that he decided to show support. This is not genuine in my opinion and reflects one who can only ride the coattails of another’s accomplishments. Thankfully, Homer had his teacher to encourage him COMMUNITY’S ROLE The community role is so important because it brings into light the nature/nurture debate. So much of who we are is what we surround ourselves with and therefore, we are (to an extent) a product of our environment. Despite some tensions, Homer had it cut out good for him. He was a small town kid with a good reputation and enough support people to outweigh his negative father. Even then, his father’s love was apparent underneath all the tension. His community bolstered their will to work to the point everyone even showed up to watch the rockets launch. Derrick did not enjoy such luxuries in Venice Beach. His community was versatile, divided, and allowed for him to feel less secure. It was not until he was in Cameron, surrounded by manipulative racist people that he felt a community. It is sad, but it is similar to gang mentality: wherever one feels the community is treating him as family, he will give in. Derrick’s life unfortunately went downhill because of the group he surrounded himself with. Hello
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